Let’s just take a moment to consider how we like writing about people not necessarily people okay? In honor of Thursday Thirteen and Day Jobs From Hell I bring you 13 things guaranteed to piss off your waitress. If you have a 13 things about your job and you’d like to guest blog let me know. 
1. Water is. Not. Free. People. I realize the restaurant isn’t charging for it. That doesn’t mean they aren’t paying for it. If I have to refill your glass 5 times in 30 minutes you better act like it’s a Coke and tip accordingly.
2. I’m not your maid. My kids make less mess in restaurants than some adults! People! Where were you raised!?
3. No. You don’t get to change your order ten minutes after you made it. Suck it up.
4. If you were the dumbass that changed your order ten minutes after your table’s order went in don’t be surprised when they get food and you don’t!
5. No I don’t have any control over the a/c.
6. Or the heat.
7. Or the muzac.
8. We have one kind of tea in the South. Sweet. If you want it some other way you have to tell me.
9. Sure I can change that hundred. Right after I track down a manager that’s acting like a chicken with his head cut off. That might take a few minutes.
10. No, dude. Your card really was declined. I wouldn’t joke. Trust me.
11, 12, and 13. Tip structure.
you get your order, drinks, food, and don’t need much else–15%
you get your order, drinks, food, and refills–20%
you run my fucking ass off–25%+
If you’re one of those people who runs your waitress ragged and you aren’t tipping a minimum of 20%, you’re just wrong. If I have 5 tables and you’re getting 90% of my attention and you don’t tip exceptionally well, you are just wrong!
Did I mention day jobs suck??
**We now return you to your regularly scheduled writers blog**
October 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Sorry about your day job…my “other” daughter is a waitress at a local Italian restaurant…so I can commiserate!
October 18th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Ugh! I can imagine!
*hugs*
Paige
My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/
October 18th, 2007 at 11:25 am
You get major hugs, because I know I’d be fired at the second day.
I’d like to guess blog about my day job. I work at a drug rehab center and sadly it’s not always the clients that drives me nutty.
October 18th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Ummmmm……judging by this post, you’ve had some suck face days at the “day job.”
Sorry about that.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Damn!!
I used to work at Subway. Customers can be real sweethearts or rteal jackasses, and sometimes the two combined. euch. I’m not a customer service kind of gal which is why I now work in a warehouse schlepin books.
October 18th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
OMG I haven’t waited tables in 15 years, but it suddenly feels like yesterday!
October 18th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I learned the truth of #8 within the first week of moving to Tennessee. One of the reasons I moved away…it’s just Not Right.
October 18th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
AMEN. SISTAH!!!! You tell ‘em. I hate working for tips. And I sucked at it. I mean SUCKED. ASS.
There are a slew of people VERY grateful I quit waitressing.
October 19th, 2007 at 2:30 am
Ditto what everyone else said. Been there-done that-well not long because I’m a klutz LOL
But I have had enough tip based jobs to know that I never want to do it again.
Day Jobs do indeed suck.
October 20th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Crystal, bite your tongue! There IS no such other tea than sweet tea!
Great post, Lori - been there, done that, don’t ever want to go back. If I want to be run ragged for nothing, I’ll adopt some more kids — at least I can smack them around if they mouth off… hehehe