Someone posted on their blog today: how do you know you’re supposed to be a writer.
My CP was having a minor meltdown over her latest book. “How do I know it doesn’t suck?”
My other CP was having a minor meltdown over her latest release. “I found all these mistakes in it!”
And I had nothing.
No words of wisdom. No helpful suggestions. No way to make it all better. Which, of course, no one expects of me, and yet…I wanted to be able to do that. Especially when I was in my own Zen place: good reviews, great response from a new beta reader, finalling in a contest. How can you NOT love this business?!
And then it’d happen. A bad review. A snag in my latest book. Revisions on a book which made me crazy during the writing of it…and I’d start my own meltdown.
And I had nothing. No words of wisdom. No Helpful suggestions. No way to make it all better. Which I couldn’t expect, and yet…
I have to wonder if the rollercoaster of “I rock. I suck. I rock. I suck.” ever ends. Talking with Jen this week I asked her: How do we know we’ve succeeded in this business? And the fact is, we never do. Whenever we meet one goal, we start in with the next one.
“Get published”
“Get published by so-and-so”
“Sell x number of copies”
“Sell 1.5x copies.”
So, when fear and self-loathing sets in, there’s always something we haven’t yet accomplished, which makes it hard to see those things we’ve done.
We ride the rollercoaster, high to low and back again, all the while with some new goal in sight. Even as we’re chanting “I suck” to ourselves, we’re working on our latest book, which is likely “our best yet”. I don’t know if the rollercoaster ever ends, but I know I’d rather be riding it than not.
In short: writers are insane.
Which, I believe, I’ve said before…
September 14th, 2007 at 11:19 am
So true. We are insane. Who else would set up a piece of themselves out there for total strangers to analyze, brutalize and review? Who else would work after rejection after rejection?
Insane writers, that’s who.
And don’t sell yourself short, hon. Sometimes the only words of wisdom can be “Been there, done that. Don’t give up or I’ll hurt you.”
Sometimes it’s enough that someone, anyone, believes I should still do it.
You’re my hero, Zenwoman.
September 14th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
“Sometimes it’s enough that someone, anyone, believes I should still do it.”
I love that, because really we’re in so deep in our own woe is me that we can’t see that we are wonderful.
And one thing I have to disagree on is that actors are the insane ones. Not only do I have to perform but I have to look perfect while doing it.
September 14th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Well, I certainly agree with the insane part lol. Hell, I was ready to call it quits a couple of weeks ago and that would have made me crazier.
Also, watch out for Jen cuz she ain’t joking lol. I do believe she’s said this to me. I know Crys and RG have lol.
“Been there, done that. Don’t give up or I’ll hurt you.”