The Novelty Girls

Hi All….this is my last full day in Jamaica and since I’ve had a blast of a time and some funny moments have happened, I decided to list them here and let you all share in the laughter. But first, let me start by giving you the dynamics of the group I went with. Also, let me also apologize to anyone I might offend with this post.

First of course…there’s me. ‘Nuff said! LOL

2) Henry (Age 31) - the hubby, who’s very laid back and willing to go with the flow as long as you hurry up and make up your damn mind about what we’re doing. Doesn’t really like “group” vacations, but did it for me anyway.

3) Phelesia AKA Kandi (Age 42) - Very good friend from work who I hang out with alot. Our elected leader who often leads us down the path of craziness (in which we all chastise ourselves for being a lemon for following along with her although we know how she can be). Someone who more often than not can not remember names or dates accurately and you have to deciper what the hell she’s talking about. Someone who always thinks she’s right and you have to go through extreme measures to prove to her that she is in fact - wrong. However, we all love her and she can consistently get us out of a jam or get our money returned when we feel we’re getting royally screwed.

4) Nate (Age 34) - Kandi’s husband, who is also very laid back and willing to go with the flow, adores his wife and the peacemaker.

5) Melissa AKA Caramel D (Age 30) - Another very good friend from work who I hang out with alot. Organizer of the trip whose husband could not attend this outing with us because he waited too late to find out what week during the summer he could NOT take off from work. By the time he did, trip was already book. Caramel did NOT cancel trip because this was her gift for her birthday. Youngest in our group of co-worker friends who is a life time student in order to avoid paying student loans, i.e. - she’s currently working on her third master’s degree.

6) Lavenia AKA Ms. V (Age 50) - Friend of Phelesia’s older sister who travels all the time, has been married six times and never has to work again for the rest of her life because of a discrimination lawsuit she filed against the government and won. Does Pilates and Yoga and is more fit than me and who recently underwent plastic surgery for a tummy tuc. Nuff said!

OK…now that I’ve gotten that out of the way….here goes!

Top 8 Moments in Jamaica!

1) Jamaica is “famous” for their Rum Punch (which I now have the recipe and will be making at home). Melissa told everyone that we shouldn’t start drinking at least until noon, but broke her own rule when she starting drinking Rum Punch at ten o’clock in the morning. We all agreed that her rule was lame and promptly all began to drink as well.

2) During Monday night excursion to Falmouth where we took a boat ride in the Glistening Waters (so called because it is where salt water meets fresh water and when you glide through the water, it glows - truly! It’s very beautiful to see.) We were told that if we wanted to, we could swim during said excursion. Ms. V promptly replied that she was not swimming for fear that we would be pulled 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

3) Because of Ms. V’s comment, everyone in the group started calling our boat captain Captain Nemo…instead of Captain Ninja - his real name. Mind you Rum Punch was free and generously passed out during said boat trip.

4) Sunday night, a party in our group (not me - pinky promise - and I will not mention names due to the fact that who in the hell knows who reads stuff on the Internet) brought a substance abundantly grown in Jamaica but was not able to partake of said substance because it was still too fresh. Monday afternoon after trying to partake of substance again and failing, party member took a nap. During Monday night dinner, party member stated that since they did not wash their hands after handling substance touched and rubbed their eyes and believed that substance got in their eye and probably got them a tad high. We of course, laughed and did not believe this could happen. In the middle of the boat trip Monday evening, party member asked Captain Ninja if this was in fact possible, he laughed and said no. This incident caused Phelesia to make up a song and began singing it. The name of the song was “I Got High In My Eye.” Of course we all joined along and made up our own verses.

5) Tuesday - Dunn’s River Falls - Ocho Rios (If you’ve never been to Jamaica - this is a mountain water fall that you climb. It is “highly” recommended that you wear your bathing suit and water shoes for climb.) Now, we all bought water shoes before we left. However, Ms. V did not because she owned a pair of L.L. Bean boat shoes. Well, our guide David, convinced her to go ahead and rent/buy a pair of water shoes from DRF. Against her better judgement, she did. But after we were assigned a guide and sent along the path to wait for him, she saw a woman promptly slip wearing the same pair of shoes she’d just rented. She turned back around and went back to retrieve her $100 LL Bean boat shoes, which she harped about at least half way up the climb.

6) Wednesday - Jimmy Buffet’s Margueritaville Restuarant/Club - Montego Bay - This was out first “night” out. We wanted to hear a live band so we got a table, were about to order drinks when the band began to perform. Well, during the first couple of songs everything was fine. Then, we noticed that the waiters/waitresses began to take all the empty tables and chairs to the back of the club. When it got to the last few that customers were still sitting in, the singer of the band promptly announced that we all had to get up out of our seats so they could take our chairs and tables. At this point, we did not know what the hell was going on. Phelesia…remember what I said above about her - decided that this was pure B.S. and said we were going to get our money back and leave. Well, the manager explained that they were getting ready to turn the area into a dance floor and we were welcome to sit at the bar. We relented, the crowd became heavier, the D.J. started playing music, so we decided to stay.

7) During our group “female” dancing - men were sitting at the bar drinking - Melissa and I “battled” Phelesia and Ms. V on the dance floor for laughs and the enjoyment of the other people on the dance floor. Melissa and I, being the youngest of the group, were winning…that is until Ms. V. got down on the floor and began doing push-ups. We promptly declared that they were the winners because neither one of us would even attempt to do a push up. We were beaten by a 50 year old woman. It’s a shame. I know…..LOL

8 ) Since this post has gotten waaaaaaayyyy to long….this is the last one. While Henry and Nate were sitting at the bar, a woman came up to them and asked them if they were twins. Mind you…Nate has about 70 pounds on Henry. They laughed and told her no. Contrary to certain myths, all black people do NOT look alike. Their torture was not, however, over when she then asked Henry if he was “gay.” He looked at the woman, didn’t answer and walked away finding me on the dance floor. Henry stayed glued to my side for the duration of our little outing. LOL

Well….I hope you enjoyed my little tales. I’ll probably share more on my blog next week because this is only up to Wednesday. There are still several more days to go. Also, the laptop has been acting screwy so I haven’t been able to upload any of the hundred or so pictures we’ve taken so I’ll be doing that next week when I get home.

I miss you guys! Smooches

This is a particularly hard topic for me to write about, but an important one.

I have these two friends. Let’s call them Cynthia and Jordan. They’re writing partners; for over a year now, they’ve spent almost every day together chatting about writing, working on their respective projects, reading each others’ snippets, as well as encouraging and critiquing each other. Sometimes, I was envious of the relationship they shared, because it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a writing partner on path and par with myself.

Over the past several months, though, I’ve watched that relationship sour.

Instead of unconditional support and encouragement, Cynthia has outright stated a preference for Jordan’s fan-fiction, which she writes for fun. When Jordan wants to work on an original project, Cynthia’s reaction is lackluster at best; at worse, she directly asks for Jordan to write fan-fiction and pouts if she refuses.

Needless to say, this has hit Jordan very hard since she has become used to depending on Cynthia’s support. It’s like the rug’s been pulled out from under her. She’s lost her footing.

It’s sad for me to see and strikes a personal chord, because I’ve been there too.

My first writing partner was also my ex-fiancé, Robert. It’s a good part of why I fell in love with him. We spent hours online together, talking about our projects — and we were on the same level. When we brainstormed, the ideas flew like fire, and we would both become ever-more excited about our projects. We had the same goals and ambitions, and we were set on doing whatever it took to achieve them.

I don’t know when it happened, but at some point things started going downhill. When before he would’ve supported decisions I made about my work, Robert later tried to talk me out of them. For instance, he didn’t want me to write about lesbians because of his bad experiences with the San Francisco lesbian community. When I cast a character who could change his gender at will as a villain, he accused me of trying to put transsexuals in a bad light. Me = speechless.

By the end, he was telling me I should be writing men’s adventure novels because that was what he wanted to read. Um. WTF? I’m not exactly your chick flick drama sort of gal, but I sure as shit don’t want to read something focused around guys. Why the hell would I write it?

I’ve spent the past several years healing from the damage that relationship caused. While I’ve dealt with the remnants from the romantic relationship, I’ve never quite healed from the loss of my best friend and writing buddy.

*stops and takes a deep breath*

In some ways, a writing partner is not that far off from a romantic one, because you’re allowing them to see into your deepest, most personal self. There are things we write about that we may not otherwise admit. Fiction is safer, but it’s still self. You’re baring your creativity for them to nurture.

And I? Where I thought seeds of light had been planted, I found disease and decay.

And a whole damn lot of sorrow.

Writers are a fragile bunch. Hell, it’s true of me, even as much as I don’t let it show. The wrong words from someone we’ve entrusted can be destructive, especially when we’re already so prone to self-doubt. The worst thing is that the other person may not mean to hurt; they may even mean to be helpful. That’s why it’s so important to be self-aware and consider your words carefully before speaking.

Because some things? Can’t be taken back once the damage is done.

Feng Shui is the practice of placement to achieve harmony. Making sure everything is organized in a serene way and you have the right symbols for success, romance etc depending on the location and direction of the room. I think of this today as I look at the monster of chaos my office space has recently become.

I used to pay attention. I want to be organized. But I’ve shoved so many papers here or there-stuffed things in bags and pushed them under my desk-that I’m starting to feel like Oscar the Grouch. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with my recent absentmindedness. I havent blogged all week on my personal blog, and I havent been exactly good with my time concerning my current WIP.

People have discussed how a special place is important to writing. Some people need a closed office and quiet. Some people can write dangling upside down off the couch on a laptop with the tv blasting. This will sound weird but I write best in my office in the living room, sometimes with music, but mostly with the television on a low hum, preferably tuned to Star Trek Voyager or Firefly {1.It makes me feel close to my hubby when he is at work 2. I’ve seen them all so many times its more comforting than distracting.} But this mess-this mess is not conducive to good writing. I doubt anyone could write in this.

Where do you do your best work? Does organization matter?

So, a friend of mine took me out to dinner the other day to celebrate my recent sale to Samhain Publishing (I say again: woot!) and I had the most delish dessert on the planet. I’d like to dedicate my haiku this week to that yummy goodness.

Sweet, tart berry pie
Hot orgasm in my mouth
Give me another

And on to the stuff I stole from other people.

may I call you Sir?
tie me up, tie me down, please
I won’t say Daddy

This guy has an overinflated view of his package, don’t you think?

Sucks diligently
Sudden shock from surprise smack
The white dragon roars

Okay, this is just funny.

What to eat for lunch?
Bend over bitch, I’ll show you
Lightly tossed salad

A long time ago. . . and in a place not so far away, I could write anywhere. Give me a scrap of paper, a pen, or a computer and I could weave the magic.

 Nowadays, I can hardly string a sentence together. Why? Kids! With each additional child, I lost a little more of my time and attention span.  I’m not sure if it washed down the drain with water after baths, or if I accidently dropped it in the washer along with the mounds of dirty laundry.  For instance, just in trying to write this short post, I’ve had to get up from the computer twice. Once to remind a potty-training youngster that we poop IN the potty, then to change the channel on the television, and now thoughts of breakfast are intruding.

And as Lisa Gardner says in the latest Writer’s Digest. . . you can’t write a bestseller three words at a time.

But, I have to think to write and have time to write. . .

I have a lovely writing space at home — but it isn’t working for me at this time of my life. My preschool-aged boys demand attention, my teenager is bored, and the dog thinks I’m his personal door person and the no-barking police (which I guess I am). And the cat. . . we won’t even mention how many times a day I have to shove her off my lap as I type.

So, when my birthday rolled around this year, my gift was TIME! I can’t thank my husband enough. Two days a week, a neighborhood teen comes over to help my daughter babysit “the boys” and I grab my Alphasmart and a table in the very back of the library. 

For two weeks now, I’ve been able to write almost 2000 words in the couple of hours I spend on those library excursions! I may actually get my Christmas novella done and submitted before the deadline this year!

My muse is happy (okay, she’d be happier at the beach with a frou-frou drink, sun umbrella, and cabana boys in thongs but I digress).  I am happy, and amazingly, my kids are happier because I’m happier (funny how that works, huh?) The dog. . . well, he doesn’t care who opens the door and I’m sure he’s happier because the babysitter doesn’t care if he barks.

So. . . when life intrudes, where do you go to work?

there…Jamaica that is. Whoohoo! Vacation at the beach, I’m on my way! I have absolutely nothing writerly to comment on today because I’m just too excited to think about anything other than 7 days of relaxation. And since my husband has practically “banned” me from all computer use….I don’t know who the hell he thinks he is…I had to practically argue with him ten minutes ago about the fact that I did not promise him I would not get on the computer while we were on vacation…I only promised not to “write” while we were away. Ummm…sorry….didn’t mean to go off on a tangent there. N-T-Way…..after fighting with the wireless connection on his laptop I’m finally on to post about nothing really. Just that I’m less than 24 hours away from boarding that plane.

So…to my lovely buds - the novelty girls…this is for you!

Crystal - No flogging until I get back. I don’t want to miss anything.

Dayna - Keep the peace (you know how Crystal can get when she’s unsupervised).

Lori - Give us all a break and step away from the computer and writing 5K a day….we can NOT keep up.

Nonny - Shower some wisdom on the other lovelies! Maybe this will keep Crystal and Lori from possible jail time.

R.G. - Don’t get too corrupted while I’m away. I know it’s hard.

Jen - Stay out of trouble. I know how much you love Crystal’s punishments. Again - I just don’t want to miss anything.

Ericka - Since you’re relatively new…I’ll tell you the same thing…don’t get too corrupted while I’m away. I know Crystal can be a wee bit - overpowering - but you do have the strength to say “no” Mistress. LOL

Well…I’m off. Don’t have too much fun without me.

I’m leaving you something purty to look at and listen to while you follow us over to the FAR chatters group where we’ll be chatting and causing mayhem all day today!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FallenAngelReviewChatters/

don’t tell superhubby, but I sort of love Rob Thomas

We interupt your regularly scheduled Thursday Thirteen for a Loribelle Panic Attack!

So our TNG regulars have heard that we’re handing over the blog to Dayna and Nonny and Jen while we go to Dallas in July. Dayna asked if I’d let my oldest hellion, um child, write my blog that week and I asked Emma Rose today if she wanted to give it a try. She was totally game, which should have been my first clue. She’s a snarky, sarcastic, Southern Belle in training. Need I say more? Anyway, this is what she handed me tonight and now I’m thinking, Dallas. Be afraid! Be very afraid!

Let’s see. What’s going on in the Hunt household? Well, Mom’s going to Dallas and the kids are gonna go wild! I’m talking slimed bathroom, pumped up party, muddy wall, wild kids. But that’s not all. If you look in now you’ll see a tied up Daddy, a roasting Bubba, and a $1000 electric bill. And don’t call yet ‘cause the line will busy all week long! There will be a war in the living room, pigs in residence, fire in the bedrooms, and Hannah Montana songs loud and clear. Kidtopia opens July 9. Till then it is the usual chaos, minus the roasting Bubba and fires and pigs. Ok, it isn’t exactly chaos yet, but wait until July 9! Trust me, y’all will hear it in NYC! That’s all. And remember till the 9th shhhhhh!

Two hours? Two hours have gone by. And what have I been doing? Well it all started with Youtube. I’d left Romance Divas and my blog and other people’s blogs and decided to buckle down and write. Then I saw a linky for something on youtube. Then I decided to type in writer and see what came up. My mind working the way that it does, I wandered. Everyday I Write the Book by Elvis Costello led to Paperpack Writer by The Beatles, which led to a demonstration in French of an automaton called The Writer {fairly creepy little child with better handwriting than I}. This led me to some strange inventions, including a defecating duck automaton {yep} and some weird physics experiments. Then this really cool cgi music video.

Okay I had to get away from there. Maybe I’ll give people a quiz. Yeah. So apparently you can find out which Hero from the show Heroes you are {I’m Hiro-which is cool cause I love him}, you can see which movie star would be your best friend if they had any clue you existed {Drew Barrymore}, and you can test your knowledge of Johnny Depp {he’s cute-do we need to know more?}.

So much time had passed I, of course, had to go back to divas to see if anyone had said anything new, while playing Spider Solitaire and watching my husbands shows out of the corner of my eye. Boom-two hours gone.

I think writer’s should get extra points for avoiding temptation as much as we do. I mean, there is an endless, all you can eat buffet of distraction out there. You could spend hours looking at hundreds of picks of shirtless men or watching strange obscure videos and playing time consuming games. Not to mention all the conversations to be had. Its amazing we write at all.