So after knowing yourself and trusting yourself and admitting you’re a little crazy and occasionally hear voices in your head…what’s next? I think there is something that as writers we all need, we all strive for, but often remains elusive. Balance.
A little crazy is one thing-it helps our creativity to be able to ‘walk into a room backwards’ as the shamans do. To see the world from different perspectives. But what I’m referring to is what happens before and after the story. Jennifer McKenzie talked about it the other day. The eternal waiting, the anxiety, the rejection or hopefully the acceptance followed by more waiting…more anxiety. “But everything in moderation” she said.
How do we do that? When we are tearing out our hair, having moments of utter insecurity or feelings of despair, how do we find our center, our calm in the storm, the middle path of crazy? How do we not feel it’s the end of the world when something we birthed out of our fertile minds, something we’ve nurtured and cherished and stayed up nights with and suffered through—is swept aside without a thought, forgotten in some editor’s pile, given a abysmal review, or thrown against someone’s wall without being finished?
I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And although chocolate is the answer that immediately springs to mind, I think that may only be a temporary stop-gap measure. As the other Novelty Girls so intelligently pointed out, trusting yourself and knowing yourself-being secure in your work is definitely a huge part of the equation. But this is an incredibly emotional career. Highs and lows in the extreme, with huge doses of judgment and criticism thrown in to taste. It’s hard not to take it a little personally. It is personal. Yes it’s also a business-but let’s be honest-it’s not always easy to separate the two.
However, you still have to lead a confident life away from your computer, and you still have to come back to your computer everyday and keep on pushing forward. You know, I’ve been a singer in several bands, and I grew up surrounded by actors. Artists as a rule are a sensitive lot-writers more than most. So what do we do?
I meditate. I imagine I am a radiant being of light and try to visualize positive things coming my way. I try to remember why I decided to do this: I love to write, I love to create worlds in my mind, I love people falling in love, and I love telling stories. I spend time cuddling with my husband. I eat chocolate. And I try to help someone or make someone smile everyday. Its good karma and it makes me feel better.
I’m still crazy. And I am still finding my footing on this shaky tightrope of a career. But my little exercises help me find a bit of balance. What do you do for yourself to bring you back to center? What mantra or activity soothes your soul?
May 15th, 2007 at 8:55 am
life away from your computer
What it this thing you speak of? I don’t have a life: I have children
I have started yoga class…I honestly wish I could go once a day, not just once a week. It’s not the same at home. But those stretches and exercises are the one time of the week I’m not obsessing over a plot-tangle or misbehaving characters.
I read. I’m one of those ‘lose myself entirely in a good book’ readers, so this one is excellent.
And my mantra, honestly, depends on the day. Either: “I don’t totally suck at this” or “if I stop, hubby will want me to get a job”
May 15th, 2007 at 9:00 am
My mantra is “Crystal and Dayna will pound me into a million pieces if I stop now.”
Or “I have to do it for my six readers”. LOL.
Whining on the phone to other writers helps me.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Dayna-I forgot to put read up there!
Jen-that’s a good mantra-lol
May 15th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Dayna: I’m soooo thinking about taking up yoga again. I haven’t done it in a few years.
Jen: That’s right. Don’t make Dayna and me come over there. We WILL make you suffer. A lot.
May 15th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Great post, R.G. I seriously need to learn how to meditate.
May 15th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
What it this thing you speak of? I don’t have a life: I have children
Lol! Me too. I read. Sometimes I run. Lately, I paint.
May 15th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Great post! I can totally relate… I just try not to think about it too much. Which I think is easier to do when you’re not dealing with the NY market. Although I do have 6 queries out to agents in NY. I guess I just forget about it, keep myself busy being a mom. Exercising. Stuff like that
I used to meditate, I want to pick up again. Thanks for the reminder
May 15th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I have to start finding some balance. Will be doing my first pitches ever at LIRR luncheon in June. Am breaking out n sweats and stockpiling Xanax for anxiety attacks. Real agents, real editors, real heart attacks? Oh my!
How soon can I learn to meditate?-debi
May 15th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
I try to find balance by exercising and reading. I walk at least, if not more, 2 miles everyday and I read at night before I got to bed.
May 16th, 2007 at 3:12 am
Balance? We’re supposed to find balance?
Chocolate does help, but as you said it’s far too temporary. I find medication to be a longer-term solution.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:36 am
Is it bad that I read this this morning, and everyone’s ‘meditate’ was, instead, ‘medicate’?
Must. Get. Sleep.