or the perfect man for you or me, not necessarily perfect. (So you can pick your laughing butt up off the ground. Geesh.) Or maybe I should just say love (twoo wuv?)?
Anyway, I do a lot of blog hopping. Way too much in fact. A few weeks ago I ran across a romance writer’s blog that had me scratching my head and made me a little angry. (No I am not posting the blog.) She claimed that she and 99% of women do not believe in happily ever after. Um, I missed that particular Gallup poll. She went on to say these women knew the difference between fantasy and reality. Excuse while I check into reality for a minute. Wtf!?
First of all, I always knew I was a one percenter. (A political joke. Just ignore it falling flat on its face lol.) Ninety-nine percent!? I think not. You can’t breed two thousand years of fairy tales out of the human psyche in one generation.
Second, here I thought I was part of the reality based community. (More bad political jokes. Move along now. Nothing to see here.) Wow. So if you believe in happily ever after, and by extension true love, you live in a fantasy world? Why didn’t y’all tell me!?
So I have to know. Do other romance writers think this way? Do you believe in happily ever afters? Do you believe it’s a fantasy? Are those of us who do believe it living in fantasyland? The curiosity is killing me here.
January 11th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
An HEA is in the eye of the beholder. My idea of a happily ever after doesn’t involve a man *ducking*
But that doens’t mean I can’t write HEA’s that do involve a man–though you might not always find a wedding ring or a baby in the equasion.
My personal believe, outside of a book, is that not everyone finds someone (a soulmate?) in every lifetime (and yes I believe in reincarnation too). Some folks find that one person they’re supposed to be with, some folks find someone they love and can spend the rest of their life with and some folks would rather (maybe) have nothing if they can’t have their soulmate.
January 11th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
But in the romance genre, Amie, if you’re not writing the guy gets the girl (or the guys get the girls or the girl gets the guys, in erotic romance), then it’s really not a romance, as established by all the books that have come before.
And I already knew I lived in a fantasy world. Did I forget to pass along the memo, Lori?
January 11th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
I do believe in happily ever after. I mean, why would I sell a product I don’t believe in?
*walks away humming Someday My Prince Will Come*
January 11th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Sara LOL I said I could write it, but I’m also a realist.
January 11th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Amie, I’m so with you, in almost everything you said. Like I just have this very ‘whatever’ view on my love life. I don’t seem to care if I get a man in the end, because I have this feeling I’ve done that before.
I love reading romance novels though, because they’re fun to indulge in. They are, too me, fantasy in a way. Because the HEA they show at the end of the books leaves you believing everything is great. They don’t show the next twenty years and when the honeymoon period wears off.
See, I’m a realist too. Sometimes I wonder how I can write romance. But then, it’s my escape, my way of saying what if it could be this way.
January 12th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Hmm. You know, I’m thinking the better question would have been, Do you believe in hea for you?
January 12th, 2007 at 1:45 am
For me… hmm. I think like Amie said, my HEA may not involved a man necessarily. But…here’s to hoping I get some sort of an HEA. Right now I’m HFN.
January 12th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
The problem is “happily ever after” implies an ending. I’ve had my ‘happily ever after’ moments. My hubby and I said “I do.”
But that’s not The End.
We had our kids.
And that’s not The End. Because we had to deal with one son being sick, one son being evil, and one son doing his thing.
I think that’s a real problem. HEA does not equal The End. It’s a frozen moment in time when the future is suddenly less frightening because you’ve established one certainty for the next period of time. But there’s still a whole lot of junk headed our way, and we’ll still have to face it.
Gah, this comment is long.
Romance novels are snippets in time, unless they follow from birth to death. Those HEA’s are just stops on the way. In reality, a book that ends with Jack and Jill getting married can have a sequel: Jack and Jill are having difficulty and realise how to patch things up.
*sigh* My point, is that there is no end. just like this comment.
January 13th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I believe that there is someone out there for everybody and that you can find love and happiness. It’s a lot of damn work - but it’s out there. I’m one of those lucky ones in the family aspect - both sets of my grandparents were married for over 50 years before deaths. My parents have been married for over 40 years. But my brother’s marriage ended in divorce. My first marriage ended in divorce. However, I am happily married (like I said - a lot of damn work) right now. Our 8 year anniversary is on the 29th of this month. I hope we’re able to last over 50 years! I don’t think I could right or read romance if I didn’t “believe” it could actually happen.