I came to a conclusion on Friday. And this somewhat follows up with last weeks post about my virtual social life. I’m not really sure I should be allowed out in public with non-writers.
You see I went to a friend’s bridal shower on Friday night. And already I wasn’t sure how I felt about going, because I had to put on real clothes. Not sweat pants and a baggy sweater. And I had to do my hair, and maybe even makeup? But I did it. I got dressed and went.
So it was pretty much your average bridal shower. I mean it had a taco bar and margaritas, and some fluffy wine cooler style drinks (I’m more of a beer chick if I’m going to drink.) There were a lot of people, including one girl (I can’t bring myself to say woman, it makes me feel too old!) I hadn’t seen since high school.
Something happens to me when I’m in large groups of people that aren’t writers. I get kind of quiet, and more observive, I tend to step back and be invisible. Because when I do open my mouth something crazy tends to fly out.
Like one friend was showing me this cute vest she had on. And I asked her where she got it. And she said Ann Taylor, with this little guilty look. So, me, ever in writer mode (I borderline chicklit) reply, “Oh wow. I’m too fat and I can’t afford it.” Now in my book, this would have probably gotten a chuckle. But in reality everyone turns this pitying look on me, the girl with the vest panics as her eyes go wide, and someone else did that sighing, “Oh…” thing. And I just kept thinking, No, No! It’s a joke, I was talking how I write. But I don’t say that. And I can’t say I was just kidding, because, I mean it’s true. I am too fat for it, and I probably can’t afford it.
So the rest of the shower kind went the same, but I tried to keep my mouth conservatively zipped. Only pipping up for the game ‘give your advice to the bride’–as any erotic romance author would do–”Keep having good sex, and don’t get knocked up unless you want to.”
Anyway…that’s why I like it here in my little online/writers world. You get me. Sort of. Or if you don’t you sure do fake it well. Do any of you get those moments? Those ‘Why do they let me out in public” moments?
November 14th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
OMG That’s too funny Shelli! Thanks for the laugh this morning. I needed it. I have some of those moments also, although it usually ends up with me wearing food and looking for the closest exit. I love the “No, No! It’s a joke, I was talking how I write” comment. Sometimes I just can’t beleive what comes out of my mouth! LOL
November 14th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Aura - I’m with you.. I have to shake my head at some of the wild stuff that comes out of your mouth. Pez dispencer… with throwing stars… Pft.
Thanks for the ride this morning.
Shelli - I’m afraid that will happen with me too. I wonder why it is we feel it’s necessary to watch what we say - as if telling the truth is forbitten.
But if we always said what was on our minds feelings would be hurt, rifts would grow and then you’d only have your own little world to talk to anyway. Damn, and I said that like it was a bad thing.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Oh yay! You guys came by to see me. Hi Aura and Lesa! *Big cheesy grin*
November 14th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
I have an unfortunate habit of opening my mouth before I think lol. And there’s just no backspace when you’re talking, ya know lol?
But yeah, I know what you’re saying. Sometimes I wonder why they let me out of the house lol.
Sad thing is, it’s wearing off on my kids. The girls know better. They know there are things better left unsaid in public. But every now and then, it pops out anyway.
Army Guy has already said I have to be on good behavior at Thanksgiving. That’s just no damned fun lol.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
OMG, Shelli, I know exactly what you’re talking about. But see, you’re smart for zipping it after the first comment. I tend to get all nervous and try to prove that actually I’m normal, I was just trying to be funny, and then spend the rest of the event trying to prove it with lots of jokes. And this is never helped by the fact that to actually get me out in public requires a few cocktails.
Like last week when I told a perfectly nice girl to tie herself to the bed and hand her husband a dildo. Yup. Not pretty.
LOL. Great post!
November 14th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Um *slowly raises hand*
My name is amie and I’m a dorky writer who shouldn’t be let out in public.
I say things and people just *look* at me like WTF. It’s like a joke with a punchline no one but me gets–though sometimes in reverse.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:40 pm
Great post, Shelli!
I totally get what you’re saying. I no longer communicate well with non-writerly, non-virtual people. I’ve found my true home. LOL.
November 14th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
I’ve been getting the “wtf?” looks all my life. Michelle often tells me she can’t take me anywhere. But she loves me anyway and SHE thinks I’m hilarious. I’m used to most “normal” people not catching my slightly odd drift.
You’re in good company, Chica.
November 14th, 2006 at 10:59 pm
OMG Shelli that is too funny. Quite the opposite, I usually open my mouth and then shut it real fast and say something like “I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.” LOL Then, everyone wants me to comment.
November 15th, 2006 at 1:55 am
All the time. Even have dorky hand gestures to accompany the stupid wtf comments, like the people I’m talking to will divine that it’s a joke. Me in public is not a good scene.
I choose to believe it’s more that the people I encounter are humourless…
Nice post.
November 15th, 2006 at 3:20 am
Shelli! That’s too funny!
I do that too though. I usually think about what I’ll say first, decide it’s inappropriate, then decide it’s too funny to pass up. I then insert my foot into mouth and nobody laughs. I don’t know why nobody thinks I’m funny in real life. Whaever.
November 15th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
This is too funny. Yes, I spend so much time alone and online that when I do something w/ friends I tend to say something really lame. And then I just wish I was back home IMing someone cos they’d laugh w/ me…
LOL. Great post.